WCW Monday Nitro/PPVS: 1997

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Do you want to know why WCW was a stupid company? I mean, I could list literally 1,000 reasons and they’d all be applicable, you want to know what is really dumb. Imagine for a second that you’re a paper company whose been competing with a rival paper company for supremacy of the ultra competitive paper industry, stick with me here. This rival company has this goddamn amazing card-stock paper, everyone loves it and they’re buying it up like wildfire. Until one day this piece of card-stock paper suddenly develops human feelings (okay, I didn’t totally think out this metaphor before typing it all out), it becomes disgruntled at the company and believes its being overshadowed by a similar card-stock paper, except this card-stock paper has been brown-nosing the higher ups all this time. So our original card-stock paper gets out of his contract at the paper company, and lest we mention the screwjob of epic proportions that makes the paper that much more filled with hatred toward this damn, awful paper company. The rival paper company signs this card-stock paper, amazed that they were actually able to get their hands on this high quality product that they never actually imagined could be theres. They literally got the other company’s best product in the midst of an intense battle for supremacy over the paper landscape, what could stope them now. ONLY THE STUPIDITY ITSELF OF THIS RIVAL COMPANY. Okay, let’s drop this awful metaphor, how did WCW really get a red hot, and I mean RED HOT Bret Hart and literally do nothing with him. So much happened in 1997 for WCW, so much, but literally all I think about is them having Bret goddang Hart on the payroll and let him just toil around and do absolutely nothing. Not only is this guy a money draw, but, uh, an actual great wrestler who, uh, can put on amazing matches which is what your company is kind of supposed to do. I have zero clue how to run a company, but it just seems like the most common of sense to actually do something with the biggest name in the industry when you get him. Not just have him cut lame promos and at your biggest event of the year just have him be a special referee of a doomed match.

Okay, breathe, let’s talk about something else than the Bret Hart debacle. How about the Hulk Hogan/Sting debacle. It actually amazed me that they legit stretched this feud for an ENTIRE year before the payoff match (which of course was godawful). It was actually impressive that in one sense you were like “let’s get to this damn match already,” but I was also impressed that they were able to prolong this thing for so long.

Honestly, this Bret Hart stuff is bothering me too much and I just want to end talking about this year, but let’s end on some random thoughts.

I know a lot of people hate Diamond Dallas Page, but I’ve always been a fan, even, yes, that he’s not the best worker, but his push seemed such a natural thing to do and he was great in that main event role when he had it.

The Dennis Rodman stuff was amazing because never have I seen someone so obviously just picking up a cheque for doing the bare minimum. Like, his face the whole time was always “can you believe they’re actually paying me THIS much for this.” I feel like I actually remember him delivering one good clothesline, though, or something, so that was good. Oh my god, some of the episodes later in the year were of the 3 hour variety and I legit don’t know if I can go forward into 1998 when all the episodes become 3 hours. Without the commercials it’s like 2 hours+ and it’s such a slog to get through it all, so who knows if I’ll actually even get to it. I also want to watch Thunder even though I know that’s the worst idea ever, but I’m curious about its awfulness that I know I’ll regret if I actually decide to watch. Basically what I’m saying is that my 1998 review will either come out in 5 years, or never. And finally, Steve McMichael sucks so bad, my god.

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